


Scars Sometimes Never Heal

by redlemonade



Series: Flowers Covered the Hole in my Heart [2]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Heavy Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-28
Updated: 2018-06-28
Packaged: 2019-05-29 06:16:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15066953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redlemonade/pseuds/redlemonade
Summary: Jeonghan finds out that his ex best friend and husband died all because of him.Part 2 of the Jihan Hanahaki Disease two shot. I highly suggest reading part 1 before reading this one!!





	Scars Sometimes Never Heal

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this part 2 of the first one at 2 AM, apparently im only inspired in the middle of the night when im exhausted and running off chai tea 
> 
> anyways, here's the second part! more lengthy than the first one that's for sure and i really enjoyed writing this :)! jihan angst is what i live on tbh. not the best writing and i did not proofread at all so hopefully it's okay.
> 
> thanks for the support! i might make a series of 2 shot hanahaki disease au seventeen fanfics but not sure yet

Jeonghan has always been a good man. Sure, he wasn't the best student in high school or the most reliable person to turn to, but he was generally good. Never committed crimes, always apologized, cleaned up after himself.

 

That was until April 12th, 8 AM, when he was watching the news. He sat on his velvet couch sipping a cup of coffee to keep him going through the day. His boyfriend, who he was currently engaged to, was in the kitchen cooking.

 

The brunette was humming to himself. His legs were crossed and his palm lay under his chin. Jeonghan was about to change the channel until a certain boy he once knew popped up onto the television screen.

 

"24 year old Joshua Hong was found dead in his home yesterday evening around 6:30 PM. Seokmin Lee says he lost his life due to the tragic illness, the Hanahaki Disease. A nearby doctor said that it was the worse case of it he's ever seen, and whoever caused it must have been so coldhearted to make it so awful. A funeral will be held later today for the young man."

 

Jeonghan started to cry. God, did he cause this so suddenly? He and Mingyu saw Joshua yesterday outside of the grocery store and almost could see the heartbreak in the younger's eyes. He felt terrible, but thought he'd never regain feelings for him. It has been two years after all.

 

But after seeing the display on televison, he couldn't help himself. He dropped his coffee cup onto the ground, the handle breaking into tiny pieces and the hot liquid pouring around his clothed feet. Mingyu runs into the living room in an instant.

 

"Oh God, Hannie. What's wrong!?" His voice is full of panic and he rushes over to the older. Mingyu's arms wrap around Jeonghan over the couch arm while he sobs and sobs. Mingyu puts himself onto the couch arm just so he can pull Jeonghan closer.

 

The brunette man slowly fell asleep after a few minutes, Mingyu still cradling him. When he was fully passed out, Mingyu laid Jeonghan's head onto the couch arm and moved himself from his grasp. Then, he moved his entire body onto the couch so he could clean the mess on the floor.

 

It's about an hour or two later when Jeonghan wakes up again. Mingyu is on the other side of the couch, tapping his fingers against his knee. "Thank Goodness. Jeonghan, what happened?" His voice is soft and Jeonghan turns his body around so he can lay himself against Mingyu.

 

He runs his fingers through Jeonghan's hair as he sniffles. "I-I saw on the news.. Joshua.. he-" He didn't have the guts to finish but Mingyu already put the pieces together. "I'm so sorry," Is all he can manage to say aloud.

 

"It's all my fault he's gone. God I should've tried to be cautious when we saw him yesterday." Jeonghan's voice is so shaky and quiet and it makes Mingyu tear up. "Hannie it's not your fault. You didn't know this would happen."

 

Mingyu tries to help him stand up. Jeonghan almost falls over but still manages to stand, his hand gripping onto Mingyus. "Can we go see him one last time please?" He looks up at the younger, who tries his best to smile and nods sadly.

 

Then they wait. The few hours feel like months and it's painful. An hour before it began, they dress as nicely as they can. Jeonghan wears a nice black buttoned up shirt, while Mingyu wears a grey dress shirt with a black tie. Both pairs of jeans they wore were black.

 

The drive to the funeral home was quiet and uncomfortable. Jeonghan had to bring a box of tissues with him in the car so he wouldn't wipe any snot onto his outfit accidentally.

 

When they arrive, there's many people outside. The couple walk in while ignoring the sad cried from others around them. Jeonghan let's go of Mingyu's hand and runs towards the open coffin that you directly see while entering.

 

Jeonghan's heart almost stops while seeing the limp corpse lay inside the dark coffin. The tears from earlier pour out again. His left hand goes to grip the side of the coffin while his right gently caresses Joshua's cold cheek.

 

"You know you caused this right?" Jeonghan's teary gaze turns to his left to see Seokmin, dressed in a nice suit with a pink lilac bouquet in one hand. Chan was beside him and was giving Jeonghan a sickening glare that made the older almost turn pale.

 

Jeonghan stuttered. "Of course I do. I-I didnt realize he still felt that way towards me. It has been two years." Seokmin laughs coldly to the reply. The look in his eyes makes Jeonghan shake inside. "Man you're dense. Joshua loved you so much, did you think he could just move on? Your lucky this doesn't count as murder. You'd be in jail if it was."

 

He has a burning fire in his eyes and beside him Chan growls lowly to himself. God, what has Jeonghan done? He starts to cry more, his hand leaving Joshua's face. He falls to the ground. His arms wrap around his legs and he buries his head in the free space between him and his legs. "Pitiful Jeonghan. Always caring after things happen instead of when they do. You make me sick."

 

The black hair man walks around the other so he can get closer to Joshua's rested face. He lowers his head to lay a kiss on the passed away man's cold lips, and lays the pink flowers on his chest. Seokmin's gaze turns down back at the sobbing Jeonghan. "He was so in love with you that I never got the chance to be with him. Everytime I tried he would think of you and cry. God his lock screen was even you and him on your wedding day!"

 

Seokmin's voice became louder and angrier, making many people turn their attention towards the three men. Mingyu finally came inside the funeral home after talking to someone outside and the alarm that shot through him was astonishing. Seeing Jeonghan crying madly on the cold floor, Seokmin and Chan standing over the man.

 

"What the hell are you doing to him?!" Mingyu barges in front of Seokmin and Chan jumps back on the other side of Jeonghan. He was so worried for his older boyfriend that rage filled him up inside. Seokmin smiles at Mingyu. "Nothing old friend. I suggest you teach your boyfriend manners though, because he obviously didn't have those with Joshua and his feelings." Seokmin moves away from the taller man and quietly walks away. Chan didn't know whether to follow or not but decided to since it was better than staying with an angered Mingyu.

 

Ignoring the two, Mingyu gets down on his knees to wrap his long arms around Jeonghan. "Hannie, it's okay. Don't let that man's words get to your head. He's always been able to make people go crazy with what he says and you know that." He speaks softly into Jeonghan's ear and he soon stops shaking, but the crying doesn't stop. He raises his head to look at Mingyu.

 

Why did this have to happen? He misses the days when he was just Joshua's best friend. The times when they'd play the guitar together. The time when the boys had to work at the concession stand to pay fees after breaking school property. When the two would stay over at each other's houses every weekend. Now, he's in front of his dead ex best friend and husband, sobbing his eyes out when he realizes Seokmin was right. It really was his fault that he's dead.

 

Mingyu wipes away the tears in the corners of Jeonghan's eyes. He holds a hand out for the older to grab, and when Jeonghan grabs it he helps him stand on his feet. He wraps an arm around the brunette who was sniffling so much that it was becoming hard to breath. "Anything you'd like to say to Joshua before we go..?" He asks Jeonghan quietly, and the boy nods.

 

He takes a deep breath and blinks the stray tears from his eyes before speaking, "Joshua. I'm sorry for destroying our friendship, relationship, connection, everything. You've always been special to me and the time not talking to you took me weeks, months to get over you fully, and recently before all this I'd wonder to myself if you were finally happy. I'm sorry, I'm rambling, I just wanted to send you off to Heaven with something rather than nothing at all. And now I'll try to say goodbye with a smile."

 

And then he smiles so gently and soft that Mingyu could cry with how much emotion that smile holds. It's a smile that showed he really did love Joshua Hong and it almost hurt Mingyu that he had never truly seen that kind of smile from Jeonghan. "Goodbye Joshua. Rest well, I'm sorry things ended like this." When Mingyu moves his arm off Jeonghan's shoulder the older grabs his hand.

 

"Let's go please. I don't think I'll survive watching the buriel." He sadly laughs and it sounds a bit forced, trying to live up to his promise to smile. Mingyu smiles down at him and kisses the man's lips lightly before pulling away. The two exit the funeral home, Seokmin's gaze hits their backs but they both ignore it.

 

Jeonghan clears his now rapsy throat. "Can we get ice cream?" He looks like a child that just tripped and fell on his first birthday and he can't help but soften his expression. "Of course. Anything for you."

 

The two hold hands as they walk down the street on their way to the nearest ice cream shop, and after return back to the funeral to watch the ending of the burial. Jeonghan tears up, but he (struggles) tries his best to keep the smile on his face the whole time.

 

When all the funeral news was finished, he and Mingyu returned to their apartment. The two lay down on their velvet couch once again in each others arms. "Thank you for being there for me through all of this." Jeonghan thanks him shyly and his voice cracks several times.

 

Mingyu laughs at him. "No problem. Anything for the man I love." Their hands are together and for the first time in years Jeonghan truly feels at peace. He can almost hear Joshua's voice in his head saying 'I'm so proud of you Jeonghan' and he wants to cry again but he won't. He closes his eyes and smiles and Mingyu couldn't be happier. They make each other happier.

 

Fate brought them together, and that fate's name was Joshua.


End file.
